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Suddenly only a few months have passed since my last entry and yet it has felt like I've been stuck in an Ikea store after hours surviving off of nothing but meatballs, while being hunted by the store manager for 3 weeks.
New Year, new me. This year I will become an even hotter, sexcier more sinisterly evil version of myself. Not out of spite or relational issues, but simply, because I'm bored. Lying is in fact the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off. But so is jacking off.
In commemoration of the Year of the Snake, I will be getting my freak ON. Just kidding, I'm actually terrified of sex. Equally repulsed by it as I am feining for Pyramid Head to come out my closet to rip me in half coochie first and split my skull vertically. ...or something like that.
I truly believe every man would look a bagillion million times hotter as a woman and that's not because I'm a girl kisser. It's just the natural order of things. Everytime you go outside you're guaranteed to see at LEAST one beautiful gorgina woman. Flip side, you only see a decent looking man once a full moon. Maximum! That is.
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